The real mystery of life is not a problem to be solved, it is a reality to be experienced.

Does it? Does love really changes everything, and what is everything?

This is what the dictionary says about changing:

-"become different in essence; losing one's or its original nature; "

-"an event that occurs when something passes from one state or phase to another;"

-"make or become different in some particular way, without permanently losing one's or its former characteristics or essence; "

-"the result of alteration or modification;"

(A funny thing is that the dictionary cannot explain the word "EVERYTHING". Does that mean that "everything" is too much?)

How can LOVE change a person?

Love is higher and faster vibrations, and it actually makes us more sensitive to the beauty in all things (even though another dreadful human belief system is "love makes blind").
Love makes us appreciate, the colors become stronger, the food tastes better, the music is softer, and we finally begin to notice all the small things in nature.
Love makes us forget all our neuroses, phobias and self destructive patterns.
Love makes us BELIEVE. It fills us with energy, joy and "I'm strong enough to conquer the world" (please check my story "Freaking Happiness).

But does love change a person's personality? When we give in for love don't we become more like the "REAL" or "TRUE" person we are? Doesn't love make us show ourselves more, tears down our "PERSONA" (C.G. Jung), pulls down the build up defenses and we are suddenly left with ourselves; we have become WHOLE!

The energy of love is strong. Very strong.

And if we choose to open up and let the eternal stream of love fill us up, then we can always stay on its waves. We can choose to be true, real and honest to ourselves and others ALL THE TIME.

We can choose to see life and love what it really is. The "thing" we are so darn lucky to be in the middle of, the immense present of growing out of this universe and feeling our heart beats with an unknown reason and logic.

We owe it to life.
Do we really need an "excuse" to finally become real?

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Adams Douglas
.

"Clinical depression is a state of sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living."

Is this all about a chemical imbalance in neurotransmitters in the brain?

Is it heredity (can we blame our parents)?
Can we blame it on the missing sunlight, the diet, the school system, the neighbors and the moon?

If we balance the serotonin, the norepinephrine, start doing physical exercise, collect exotic stamps, do patchwork, get a cat or dog to talk to, and hide ourselves from all possible risk of negative inputs, Can we change things then?!

Did we jump in the hole ourselves or where we pushed?

In scientific professional terms you need an organ to have an illness. So how can we talk about a mental illness? It just doesn't exist! You can't cure an illness by talking to it...

We just had an AMAZING full moon here. But what is even more amazing is how people get affected. Maybe we are all lunatics after all?

Can't we all feel the urge to howl, to dance naked in the rain and completely lose our senses?! 

We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met?

"When you compare things, you show their similarities; when you contrast things, you show their differences."

Man and woman are two sides of the same coin, ok but we still need each other to know the differences.

Does a man first become a man when he meets the right woman?

Does the woman bring out the real inside of the man?

Will the woman first start to bloom when she meets the right man?

Contrast, contrasts.

I remember being madly in love with a handsome man when I was 20 years young. He definitely made me feel more like a woman than that I ever had experienced before. He made me bloom like a wild flower. I was totally in love with LOVE, and it was like riding on a wind without any limitations or the smell of possible common sense.

Are we in love with the contrasts? Is it the stronger shown and felt contrast that gives us the kick, the brain paralyzed high of excitement, pleasure, roller coaster trips?  

The real woman brings out the real man? (what is "real"? Hmmm I guess "real" is what the man and woman feel like and need in that moment)

Contrasts.

The dance of love, the power of dance, the power of love, the powerful dance of love, passion, desire, fire, ice cubes, chocolate, green tea, wet grass, sexy toe nails, G-strings, afternoon naps, shaking dry cleaners, strawberries, vanilla ice cream, nature programs, you, me, us, the neighbors, the woman in the bakery, the black cat lying on the floor purring next to me right now, mountains, under water diving, millions of kisses, yummy marshmallows, crazy geminis and living energy running through our veins, our hearts, in our breaths, vibrating its way to our inner soul and shining out through our eyes and finger tips.

It's there, and so are we.

We had a beeeeaaaautil thunder storm last night.

I was sitting (in the house of spiders next to the chuch yard) with wide open windows looking out at the rain, excited by the lightnings and feeling the wonderful beats of thunder in my finger tips and thighs.

I was IN the electricity of the snoring of nature. It was in me, giving me goose bumps, caressing my skin, breathing my air, running through my veins and playing salsa rhythms with my heart.

The rain was pouring down, giving me a shower with its embrace of wet power.

A street lamp just opposite my open windows was hit by the lighting, and it began to burn. In spite of the force of tear drops, the fire kept its defenses and a white line of smoke started dancing, finding its personal path in the strong wind.

It took quite a while before the lamp finally went out with a sigh, and I looked at it in a state of total wonder and grace wanted to tell it how wonderful it was.

But I was soon to discover that it wasn't finish yet. Magic was in the air. Magic exists. Magic is there alright.

Just as I thought that the lamp had given up, a small sizzling ball of light found its life beat. First it was all tiny and fragile, but slowly it gathered more courage and strength, and the lamp was now reborn.

Do we need to die alive to be reborn?

Somebody once told me that my name "nina" means to reborn, Does that mean that I experience a very new day every 24 hours?
It's true that my days are never alike. I am never alike. Our feelings always change, we are unstable vibrant beings with magic coming to us from an indescribable source. Just trying to feel our way through life.

The nature is BIG and the wonderful thing is that it created us.

Now it's our job to acknowledge its gifts to us. Do we?

Oh isn't t funny how we get stuck when we get struck?...

I really think that the human race should start to jump more.

What would happen?

We would speed up the vibrations, we would laugh while bumping into each other (be careful not to break anything or anybody) our hearts would be in better shape, and we would have the fittest buttocks of the whole animal species on Mother Earth!

It's getting late Sunday night, and yes I must admit that I'm getting rather silly, but I got a oh-so-darn-annoying cold (my head looks like Santa Claus' night lantern) and I have been running (and jumping!) around in the nature all day. SO with the complicated biological/physical compression techniques (my sinuses are exploding) and Mother natures wonderful Ecstasy breeze I am now filled up with a total gigantic energy kick. And even though the rest of the house is silently sleeping, I'm still sitting here (half jumping) on my chair writing these intelligent, inspiring and faaaast accelerating vibrating energizing tickling spinning rushing BUZZING words!   

I guess I'll just go chasing the cat...

What do we want in life?

Happiness, prosperity, good health, money, be strong, beautiful, all knowing, intelligent, lucky, sexy, rich, flexible, fit, glory, be famous, be worshiped, peace, inner calmness, material wonders, freedom, joy, more sex, BETTER sex, more money, healthy teeth, healthy heart, good kidneys, gorgeous cheeks, tight abs, stronger than the neighbor, can I own my lover, my family, my creations, my pets?

Why is it always about what we WANT? Why can't we concentrate about what we can GIVE just for once?!...

Friend wants to become lover, lover wants to become married, newly wed wants to become your one and only attention, energy channel, love charisma, the air in your lungs, the earth you stand upon...  
You should only exist for this or that only, don't even think about giving your energy to something or somebody else. I want you for me only. But can't you see? I only do what is best for you darling, I love you! You are miserable, unhappy without me, now come back home!...

Hmmmm where is the boarder line? When do things change?

I remember reading James Redfield's words about being careful with love. No, not LOVE but something about the "one pointed attention" towards ONE person. We risk weakening ourselves instead of becoming stronger. Isn't that an incredible paradox?!!

Nah, maybe it's not a paradox when we realize how much we change all the time. We actually never really know what exactly we want. Or maybe we do, but that can change from one minute to another (I remember somebody once giving me a business tip about opening accounts in several different banks, or not to count on ONE customer only no-matter the amount of the benefits)
Is that the same thing in love? (just to keep this clear; I'm NOT talking about sex! Whatever people might do in that area, that's really their own personal business) I'm talking about LOVE for not only ONE person but for everybody.

"LOVE: The unifying agent of universal design, which is based upon the Intent of best benefit to all, as well as high vibrational states. A mutuality of appreciation in the common recognition of Oneness. That inherent quality of existence whose depth of feeling liberates and inspires spiritual revelation."

Stop talking - start giving. Stop thinking about "how much do I get out of this" and more "I will continue to give because that's what makes me and the other person feel good"

Please help me setting love free. Open up the doors, we need to make it LIVE again! We need to help it getting air under its wings again. We can if we want.

I'm on the road again.

Are you afraid? No
Do you feel lost? No.
Do you feel lonely? Well yes and no. Sometimes I guess we all can feel lonely, but that's the price of staying unique I guess. And how can we ever learn to appriciate company with others if we don't know the embrace of loneliness?

I'm on the road again, and I don't know where it'll lead me this time.
The only thing I know is that it's going forward.

Where does ANGER come from?
How is it built?

Why is it that when first people are INSIDE the anger, they keep on letting it grow? It's like the power of anger is so strong, exciting and even euphoric so you'll do everything to feed the monster. You find reasons for your anger, you justify your actions, you tell yourself that the anger has a purpose etc

Bullshit.

ANGER: "A negative emotional reaction associated with other bad feelings such as fear, disgust, shame, irritability, outrage, hostility and possibly even violence. Actions resulting from anger often have negative consequences, because the neurotransmitters/hormones (eg adrenaline) released during anger intensify impulsive action and cloud rational thought processes. ..."

When we get angry we blind ourselves. We put on heavy sunglasses and wont let no damn sunlight come through.........

We then do, act, say and express ourselves in a way we wouldn't normally do, and most of the time we end up hurting ourselves and our surroundings. We then feel tired, exhausted and empty.

Of course we need anger as we need any other negative and positive feelings, emotions and eruptions. They are all there and we are living IN them. Of course we cannot always think of rainbows, fairy-tales and butterflies eternally, smile constantly and only think rosy wonderful and blissful thoughts. We just can't.
Life has put in contrasts for a reason. Better work WITH them instead of trying to fight a battle which already is lost.

So anger, frustration, sadness, fear, hate etc is a part of us, if we like it or not. HOW BIG a part is the question now. HOW MUCH will you let these feelings determinate your living?
How long will you let yourself be embraced?

I see so many young people with anger in them today. Where do they get it from?

What is the source of their frustration, hate and aggresion?

And the most important question: what can we do to help them?

To grow up shouldn't be full of pain, but full of wonder (I'm not saying that it's easy, but life is never easy).

And why do so many people linger on their anger when they become adults?

Why is the power of anger so strong, and in the same time so incredible fake (since you are left drained after the explosion).

So many things are destroyed with anger....

I am just trying to understand why.

Do you think we can change that one day?

Will we be able to bring in some light in people's life, so they themselves finally would be able to understand that life isn't meant to live in darkness?

Come on, if I can do it then so can you!

"Everything is a gift of the universe -- even joy, anger, jealously, frustration, or separateness. Everything is perfect either for our growth or our enjoyment"
Keves Jr. Ken

It's so easy, you just have to be.

Hmmm my feet are not in danger, but I kinda liked this quote! ;o)

Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me.
After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.
Ray Bradbury

How can we ever expect something to happen in life?

We got tight schedules, busy work plans, strenuous exercise programs, expensive Christmas mimic in December, occasionally smiling full moons, red running nose on a cold winter day, and butterflies mystically flying out of your navel when we are happily excited.

We know that our neighbor will be grumpy if we dance hot tango and play loud rock music until 3am, that mother in law wants to eat lunch at Ritz at 1pm sharp on Tuesday, that friend's son always got terrible smelly feet, and that the purring cat next to me prefers crunchy salmon bites than Friskies mixed "Mariner's Catch".

But how can we ever be able to know how we are feeling in ONE moment to another?

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED says a good source and it's true.

We are all made of spinning molecules, and we are all in a big juicy soup constantly getting interfered with everybody's energy fields, thoughts systems and jumpy vibrations.

How can we KNOW the exact reaction of ourselves on a given day and on a given moment? Of course we can always PRETEND to react in a certain way, but if we listen to ourselves then are the inner voices and feelings exactly the same from one minute to another?

No they are not.

We came out of this universe, and we came with a huge BIG BANG.
That's why it can't really be a surprise that everything is eternally dynamic. Everything is always moving, changing, getting created, disappears, turns around, goes backwards, forwards, dances around, searching, finding, sizzling and buzzing.

So what can we expect else than nothing?

Is "to expect" to put certain reactions, circumstances, experiences and treatments into small boxes with red, blue and green labels on?
Is "to expect" against the KARMA, the law of doing, being, living and enjoying the fruits from the NOW?
Is "to expect" against any "rules" of this immense flowing universe?

Do we forget to live if we start expecting everything?
Do we put stones in our shoes?
Clay in our eyes?
Bubbling foam in our senses?

Do we forget to see BEYOND the stressed daily life by putting everything into narrow schedules, by trying to CONTROL the future events and wanting to KNOW what is about to happen?

Who gave us that power?

How can we ever regard something as probable or likely since everything is always changing?!
Why fight against it? Why not just take it as it is?

Life is wonderful (and never boring!) since we never know what will happen next.
And it's our job to take the responsibility of whatever the outcome may be....
We better accept it as a fact instead of freaking out.

Of course we need plans, we need goal setting, we need some kind of structure or we'll probably turn into soft marshmallows not having anything to say or to do.

But to make some plans or to expect everything in life is a biiiiig difference.

I know that I'll go training at 7am this morning, I even know what muscles and exercises I'll work with, but I don't know exactly how my body will react this time. I don't know exactly what weight I'll be using, what people I'll be seeing, what music they'll be playing or how many calories I'll be burning.
I just can't know. And that's exactly what I like about it. I love living. I love changing. I even love being silly and crazy as I am. Everything is wonderful as it is. The ups and the downs, I'll take it all.