Ok, things have become a bit too pink marshmallowshy in here....

Not that I do not like marshmallows (I love them -our member k in here sent me a message with a picture of yummy marshmallows and it made me laugh for hours!) but the life we live and feel just isn't that rosy, fluffy and sweet.

The tough facts are that most of us so called spiritual enlightened people have financial problems. Oh we are so great to cancel out negative vibrations, see the shining light of a grumpy police officer or handle a nagging rejection from a publishing company or the local radio station. We can smile in spite of running tears and tell ourselves that our future reincarnated body will be the most happy person on earth since we are nourishing and doing all the right spiritual and emotional things in this life time.

The true facts are as another Zaadz friend Sven wrote so brilliantly: 

I have this interesting challenge in life, as so many of us do, about maintaining a balance between managing the day to day tasks of survival in modern society while not forgetting that I am working towards creating an entirely different society. Most of the time I have focused more on my energetic efforts to bring illumination and enlightenment to myself and thereby the world around me, and this has meant that I have not focused as much on money. However, I also need money to create the performances that I want to share with the world. Always the balance of living in the present while creating a new and different future paradigm. 
 
We are not all so smart as our friendly Zaadz guru Brian to mix passion, philosophy and financial success and sometimes the truth is that we have to struggle to pay the rent and all the unavoidable and annoying monthly charges that unfortunately go with living in this modern and economical developed civilization.

I received an invitation from Bobbi to join her Pod: Self-Published Authors Association and in the end of the Pod description it says:

Remember, Writing is a love - Publishing is a business!

She got it. Definitely. Life is love and living can be a tough business. That's how it is and no matter how "far away' we manage to flow in our meditating Alpha/Satori/Nirvana state of unconditional love, peace and world understanding then we still need to pull up our sleeves and be brave enough to face the sticking elbows, horrible noise, acid smell, salty taste and pushing grocery lines. It's all there.

It's great to develop the use of our right brain in a left brain focused world (if there is anything like right/left brain theory at all) but don't forget how the world really is. If we don't speak its tune, sing its song and use its communication tools then we'll just end up stuck in our world of dreams and eternal wonder.

Life is a challenge. We are here to learn. We are here to change and highten the energy levels and the way we do that is by sitting around the main table and not out in the cold. We need to step inside the lion's nest and not keep the flame burning outside for fear of confrontation.

Open eyes, open mind and possibilities and wonders will come. If we want it or not, we are in it so why not make the very best out of it?  

Sunday early morning and I should be working on the accountancy but instead I got this thing inside my head and my thoughts, attention and focus will not stop dancing around the subject no matter what I do. The thing is that once an idea somehow has popped up (from nowhere) then I just HAVE to get it out somehow and some way. I'm not able to do anything else, the only thing I managed now was to get a cup of tea (I'm starving!). I don't even really know what the idea is all about yet but I believe it'll develop while I write. I guess it has life of its own somehow. I can feel it burning.

I have always tried to avoid using too many coaching or NLP terms since they are so easy to find and life is more than following certain techniques (which have made some people enormously rich!) but still some of their stuff really IS good and useful.

I was thinking about us.... How we humans approach the world. Well the majority of us, I suppose. That we always want to divideeverything into everything. A classic example is the mind/body theory. We separate the thing. We separate our brain into small smart areas (and put labels and smart submodality description on them),we separate feelings from the thoughts and we even separate the universe into small "more easily" divided parts and components and then convince ourselves of managing to understand the facts better.

It's all a part of the "chunk by chunk", "step by step", "little by little" culture. Why is that? Why is it so difficult to see things as its WHOLE, the holistic, all dimensional aspect of its heart beat and awesome existence? Why do we NEED to cut slices of everything before we tell ourselves to have understood and believe in the showed facts?  

It's just EASIER!It is. We get confused..... That's the fact that nobody dares to say of fear of being labeled as unknown and stupid (?!). We can't handle all the signals, informations, facts and whatever wonderful things the universe and life constantly is showing and creating so we pretend that we are stable and fight to divide, separate and pull apart everything which in fact isn't. That's what we are doing (and we even have a huge department of it which we call "science").

Funny thing....

Chuckity chunk!!

Now what about doing both? Our brains are so bored that we easily would be able to find space for it all. What if we approach a challenge with the "step by step" method and then keep an eye on the big picture, all in the same time?!

My personal conviction is that we cannot really change things (of course we can change the vibrations by "better" thoughts patterns etc but that's not what I'm talking about here) but by knowing how things are, by being aware of and accepting the differences, variations, waves, beliefs systems, feelings, psychological behaviors, mental programs
etc. By KNOWING we'll be able to see, work with, learn and develop. Again it's all so incredible wonderfully simply!  

Why do we humans always complicate everything?....

Ok, I have more speculations about this one but I think I got the big lines out (step by step hmmm lol!) and I'll get myself some breakfast and attack the boring work of the accountancy mountain which is flirting with me from the distance. I better just face it and who knows; we might dance a tango or two?

I remember as a child walking around on the street, in the forest, at the lake or even in the supermarket and see loving couples everywhere and all the time. I looked at them from my always wondering little physical being and I thought it to be extremely amazing that two people could love each other.

It wasn't the LOVE that seemed awesome but the LOVE MATCH and the fact that two often physically completely different people could feel the same thing and on the same moment.
How could people feel so calm and sure of being loved back from the other they proclaimed to love?
How come the other person can feel exactly the same thing as you? Is there a law of attraction, a chemical reaction or a universal wisdom or faith which make certain people glue together when it's the right time and moment? 

And what about all the heart breaking sob stories, sad and hurting relationships they are there to teach us what, why and how? A common sense, hidden logic or basic intuition which guide and show us the needed path?

It wasn't before many years later I realized that everything is about energy. That WE are energy and that we create and share vibrations. What we send out will come back.

We create, attract, feel and recognize each other and sometimes with certain people we are suddenly embraced by calmness, joy and harmony. Doubt, unsecurity and loneliness vanish immediately and suddenly the sky looks beautiful no matter what weather and temperature.  

What DO we recognize? Is it what we have been missing in ourselves, what we have shared in a former life or what we need to learn and try in our present life time and breathing pattern?

We can just FEEL it. Our bodies show us in what direction to go and that IS the good way, if we don't suddenly choose to hit the brakes and submerge into the tunnel of doubt with a shaky Ego who's afraid of getting hurt.

Imagine what would happen if we always followed our feelings?! If we always listening and went with the small signals, the magical intuition and the inner little voice telling us what leg to stand on and what color to use. Of course we would still risk getting hurt, feeling miserable, being badly treated and act as the saddest person on earth but now somehow there would be a reason and deeper meaning for the tears and pain. It's not easy to see or understand while swallowing the spicy cocktail but once first the hang over is drifted by, things suddenly become more clear and green and we remember now that the sun always shines in spite of a dark and gray looking sky. 

Maybe we desperately need somebody. We miss to cuddle, touch and kiss. we are tired of eating dinner alone in front of the TV (or the laptop), everything seems like "a one ticket, please" and we heavily carry the mention as "single" on our friends' party invitations.

Then wonder happens and we meet somebody with the exact same needs and everything suddenly feels like we have found the last missing brick in our life puzzle. We melt and become one, beautiful and amazing.

Is it?

Of course it is and of course it can work but something is wrong. After the first big hormonal flush and great excitement reality comes knocking on our door and then we realize that the first ingredient isn't always strong enough to handle the constant mix and shakes. The relationship was based on needs and instead of creating we have filled out each other's vacuum. We can still create together. Love IS strong and almighty, we CAN evolve, discover, share, give and receive from each other.

We can build up the missing spots and turn into strong and shiny beings. We can share Sunday morning break fast, go travelling and sleep in double room, create a new family, share thoughts, dreams, future plans and hope. We can help each other and together we find love, inner peace, flow and joy.

Then love isn't any longer something we NEED or TAKE from each other, instead we have BECOME it. We ARE love and we are it TOGETHER.

I am, you are, we are....

I'm a life coach and it's my job to explain and illustrate tons of fancy decision making tools, goal setting solutions and conflict solving recipes. I can show you mountains of success stories, calculations, brilliant life style agendas and other awesome plans, schedules and colorful designs.

It all sounds pretty impressive and genius people like Richard Bandler, Nathaniel Branden, Robert Dilts and our Zaadz worshipped Ken Wilber have made carefully detailed studies of HOW we, human beings are suppose to use our brain, what provokes what action and reaction, our external and internal behaviour etc. And they have come up with many brilliant, complicated and original tools, life style recommandation and all the needed solutions to whatever meta physical, psychological and philosophical possible existing blockage, challenge or dilemma.  

They impress us with their words, their self assurance and knowledge and we read their books, go to their seminars and try to model them as much as possible.

We love our heroes. We NEED our heroes. They are our teachers, our motivation and inspiration and we are here to learn.

John Grinder teaches us how to think, Alan Watts makes us laugh, Osho informs us about life, harmony and hypnosis, Anthony Robbins makes us win a big dollar deal, Yogananda how we can stay flexible, Dean Kraft shows us how to heal ourselves, and Michael Talbot opens up the idea of never ending possibilities in a Holographic Universe.

We are face to face with more and more choices. Doing meditation isn't any longer described as a "New Age drug" and we flow excited in thousands of different thought patterns, neurological connections, belief systems, consciousness levels, dimensions and philisophical turn overs. We got it all outside our front step. 

No wonder we get confused......

When we meet a new person our mind immediately starts turning; what is her or his star sign, what primary and dominant sense is being used, what personality trait, what alimentary preferences, consciousness calibration, dreams, hopes, unresolved childhood traumas, pet peeves etc? We are so busy ANALYZING each other, using all the exceptional and fantastic tools, instrument and guide lines we have learnt from our heroes and surroundings.
 
We are so busy in "filling up" that we don't realize that instead of floating we risk sinking.  

Can we blind ourselves with wanting to learn too much? By putting ourselves in catagories, following a certain belief system, paralleling our values with our heroes and jumping on the train of our culture, society, traditions and rituals.

How can we NOT stay influencable among the huge human flux of feelings, thoughts, opinions, lust for power and control? How can we ever be 100% sure of anything? How can we know what will happen in life, what people we are going to meet, what experiences and feelings will embrace our cheeks? We know that we are forced to make choices (and follow the showed path) and as a solution why not just take the result and consequences of each choice and handle them as a new situation and challenge?

What about using all the wonderful teaching as steps on the ladder. Not letting ourselves be blind and walk around in a fog but as a help and a pat on the shoulder. It's OUR responsibility to search for the needed information. It's OUR lives, chosen beliefs, meta programs and values we are following and sharing.

The wonderful thing is that we DO have the choice. We DO have the many shaded possibilities, the many open doors and light bulbs. We are blessed and so lucky to be able to do SO MANY THINGS.

In this world of non stop communication, if we don't trust our own intuition and feelings then who else can we trust?!

I wrote a blog entry about children. For several reasons I don't want to put it in here but if you want a copy, I'll be happy to send it to you.

Please PM me and it's on your way! (o;

xxx

I just read a thing I want to share with you:

"All creative scientists know that the true laboratory is the mind, where behind illusions they uncover the laws of truth."

It's in a book written by P. Yogananda but he's quoting somebody else and that "somebody" isn't named (except as being a professor).
 
I like it because they mix the things (which we quite "dry" Western people often want to separate).

Creation-Science, Body (laboratory)-Mind, Illusions-Laws of Truth

Funny thing....

I'm ill.... That's what I'm feeling. My lungs hurt big time, my neck is stiff as a dress hanger, my poor head feels like exploding and violent coughs come regulary shaking throughout my weak body. That are the facts.

By saying or writing it down do I acknowledge or reinforce my current condition? Should I be pretending that I'm in excellent health (I am -just not now) and I'm able to climb the Himalaya mountains if I wanted? Or should I use one of the many NLP technics/tools and transfer myself in a state of total bliss and joy in spite of the aching joints and mysteriously dark circles around my eyes?

My body is sick, that's it, nothing more, nothing less.

Of course it'll not last, of course I'm doing lots of self healing, massaging various strategic "suppose to be good for the immune system" points, deep breathing, meditation etc whenever I'm able, and of course I've been trying to understand what created this and why. What process is my body going through? What toxins is it getting rid of? What can I do to help it?...

I'm also grumpy.... (which an unconvenient cat tail had to feel earlier this morning). I'm grumpy because I work non stop all week and the weekend is the only freetime I have (and now I hardly can move) and I miss my walks in the forest and my training....

Well I'm ill and I better assume it 100%. I'm covered up in old long underwear (not very sexy, but it's warm!), several thick fleeces, big white socks, pink scarf and two blankets -I even carry with me to the bathroom. One minute I'm boiling hot, the next I'm shaking cold only to start sweating again moments after. The euforic state of fever and not easy to dress...

Is it "bad" to be ill?

Are we allowed to say if we are tired, angry, depressed or any other "negative" feeling when that's exactly how we feel? Are we suppose to assume all feelings and conditions and simply just take life as it comes knowing that somehow everything has a reason. That somehow if my lungs hurt so much then maybe I'm just not suppose to walk outside in the cold Northern European temperatures.

It IS true that our thoughts and mind has a tremendous impact on how we feel. Mind and Body is connected, but what if the mind doesn't want to accept the signals from the body? What if the mind makes us pretend that EVERYTHING IS OK when in fact it isn't?

It's a cooperation and I guess we need to listen to ourselves in a true holostic way -not dividing anything from anything but take things as they come. Trust whatever it is that brought us here and be soooo happy that we have a conscious mind so we are able to appreciate the facts. All of them. Even now.

I guess if I didn't experience illness then I wouldn't know and truly appreciate when I'm flowing in a state of healthiness. I guess everything comes around somehow. What else can I do but to trust?...

 
A big snow storm is having its fun just outside my window. It's hazardous, wild and absolutely beautiful to look at (I know that sometimes Mother Nature can be dangerous and life threatening but still its way of acting is somehow always pretty amazing).
 
It has been going on for hours. First I could see the top of the trees waving and then the rain began which then put on its winter coat and turned into beautiful white snow flakes.

I always loved to play in the snow when I was a kid. I loooooved making snow angels in the fine new snow, making HUGE castles and snow figures and of course I ran around as crazy in giggling happiness doing my best to catch as many snow flakes I could on my little pink tongue.

Sometimes the snow was funnier than other times. Sometimes it was "crunchy" with ice, sometimes way too wet (as now) and sometimes light and oh so delicate that it almost felt like a crime to destroy the delightful and perfect way of nature's creation.

It always made me feel so alive, so happy to be able to feel, see, touch, taste and experience the snow slowly melting with the direct contact of my warm and pulsating skin. I would run with closed eyes and full of trust dive deep into one of the brilliant snow mountains -which the adults made when they cursing had to clean out the car's driveway. Of course I quickly figured out how to make a business that would make us all happy; I cleaned people's driveway for a small fee and I re-arranged the snow in such a way so I could play with it for hours after. I was unstoppable.... and I loved it.

I've fell many times, straight on my rear, on my face or tummy. I was always covered with blue marks and bruises (winter AND summer) but it didn't matter and besides it only looked funny on my way too pale skin.

I remember helping my many very tame rabbits building small tunnels under the snow, throwing snowballs after my dog (she always attacked me afterwards!), making fun of my cat who didn't like the feeling of cold paws and wondering if I could live by snow only and never ever again having to nourish myself with anything else. If I could hide away in my own marshmallow puffy white wonder world and everything would stay just as awesome and stunningly true forever and ever after. I told the snow fairies that I would behave well, that I wouldn't ask for much and that I would love them with all my tiny little heart. Then I would wake up, feel the cold and run inside next to the fire.

That's where I am right now; next to the fire. I haven't been out (I made a catastrophic attempt yesterday which made me plunge back into more chest pain). My body is still not finish in doing whatever it has to do so I'm carefully listening and from being hyper active I have now turned into a slowly moving and coughing me drinking liters of herb tea, listening to soft music and reading one book after another. That's not bad either after all. I guess we all need to break the rhythm once in a while, and I'm still lucky to be able to enjoy looking at the snow kissing and embracing the entire world outside my little window.   

You know what? If we speak really softly the maybe the snow fairies will hear our words anyhow.

The snow show...

I woke up at 3am by a white light and the amazing silence. I just sat there behind the window (with four blankets wrapped around my body) looking as mesmerized at the stunning view. So amazingly awesome. So quiet, so simple, so.... TRUE to what it is. Just doing what it's suppose to do and being happy embracing everything and everybody.

It continued to snow today. I could feel the intense longing of going out there and happily create angels in the fresh snow but then I remembered my squeaking lungs and my now 5'11 adult size. I still went outside but instead of angel making I stood under the trees enjoying that I was able just to be and breathe the same air, stand on the same ground, with the same wonderful white sky up above looking down at us.
 
I took this picture 5 min. ago.  

My garden 10 min ago.

 

I'm in love with Richard Bach....

Not only because the beauty and simplicity of his words make tears draw artwork on my cheeks, or because he makes me dream and make me close my eyes and feel my heart beat and the bobbling joy in my spine, and not only because he managed to write down a thing I have always felt but wasn't able to formulate myself. I don't only love him because he has given me the home I have always been longing for but couldn't find because I was confused and lonely, not only because he made me realize the most important thing in my life and finally was able to settle down and not because of him making half of the world population fly with his birds.

I love Richard Bach because he IS.

Because people like him exist, breathing the same air, walking on the same earth, feeling the same hope, sorrow, joy, sadness, frustration, excitement, confusion and love like everybody else. Because he decided to share his thoughts and dreams, share his hopes and inner world with us others and found the courage and strength to stay true to his passion. This thing that makes us open up our eyes every morning with a smile and makes us FEEL ALIVE.

The desire, the passion, the zest, joy and trust in "come what may", that in spite of heavy odds and people being hard and critical; everything will be ok in the end.

The thing that makes our eyes shine, head up high and keeps us dancing through afternoon grocery shopping at peak time.

The thing that somehow gives a meaning to everything.

"Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?"

"The way to know any writer is not to meet him in person, but to read what he writes."   

 

Have you ever noticed that some things lose their beauty when we want to look at them close? When we want to inspect them, analyze and find out why, how come and for what reason. Turn it on and off like a magical button on the wall able to spin clock wise and anti clock wise.

We think that by getting closer the wonderful definitions would be even greater but when we finally arrive we discover that the effect has disappeared and instead something else has come to life. Something that might be just as beautiful but is different. The first taste of wonder is gone.

The breath taking, awestricken, gut rushing, butterfly vibrating, spine tingling, and heart beat jumping 2 seconds of an incredible, amazing, stunningly impression, sensation and emotion of something or somebody. Gone. Pffft!

What happened?!!

Almost like if Beauty needs distance to create and unfold its wonder. Like if Beauty needs air, freedom and space to be able to breathe, shine, give and share. The paradox is that by letting it alone we let it grow. By letting it flow, follow its own mysterious path, stretch its bright wings, swim freely in the ocean's caress, kiss the constant variation of the big blue sky, dance, sing, touch, and be as crazy, wild and unexpectedly surprising as it desires. Only then it can live.

By loving it from distance it'll bloom and flourish and by then we will be able to jump on the waiting boat, taste its sweet honey and savor its golden light. An energy and power that is big and generous enough for us all to dance with. We can all be under its streaming nectar, graceful tunes and soft hallucinations -as long as we let it be.

Beauty needs freedom. It needs spontaneity, motility and mobility. But further more it needs love.... It needs us to trust and believe in its power. It needs us to laugh, enjoy and mirror our thoughts, dreams and hopes in its glory and knowledge that everything is perfect and has a reason. It needs us to appreciate and value its shape, visual appearances and changing mood. It needs us to help confronting the destroyers, the blindly critical and people nourishing on fights, arguments and eternal battles.

It can feel us alright.

Our consciousness is part of a whole and we have the power of letting it grow or die of malnutrition. We are in charge.

Let's enjoy the Beauty. Let's love it for what it is and not for what it gives. It needs us as much as we need it. Let's just love. Simply as that. Love.

 

In a country far from ours in a time flowing between then and now there once was a young brown eyed girl lying alone on the back in the grass in the middle of a big field dreamily looking at the sky. She doesn't look at something special, her lungs move with a force far bigger than her imagination and her heart beat follows the secret whispering of the sound seeds flowing and dancing in the cosmos.

It was a beautiful and calm summer day and the little girl feels warm and safe in her own little world on the green field of nature wonder -far from industrial creation and the law of Murphy. There is a peculiar sweet smell in the air, a touch of rightness vibrating with the corn flowers and a straw of fresh grass has found a safe shelter in between the girl's little rosy lips.

Sometimes she hums. Not a "real" well structured in fashion money selling radio tune but a rhythm of small sounds following its own melody and heart beat. Sometimes wild and staccato and sometimes slow and fluently like little shiny pearls on a long string.

Her sound is free as the wind caressing her soft young cheeks and she looks at the sky, eyes wide open, the thick hair spread loosely on the ground kissing the non domesticated colorful field flowers.

Her time is endless and the Now is immense. The world is in her hands and the only thing she needs to do is to reach out and close her fist.... but she doesn't. Instead she is just lying there... alone on a big green field.... the soft rich ground under her body and her head in the sky. She feels so small and in the same time she feels like she's expanding all over the universe.

She feels never ending and for a reason or another she feels trust. The light is in her eyes and she is open and full of hope.

A little white butterfly flies by. It's not a huge Monarch butterfly and it doesn't have any great hypnotizing patterns or amazing colors on its body. It's just a plain simple white tiny little butterfly minding its own business happily flapping its four fragile wings flying around sensing the world with its little practical antennas.

The girl doesn't know that this butterfly is one out of the 180 000 different species known to mankind. She doesn't know that before flowing in front of her nose tip the butterfly had to go through several amazing physical transformations, that a highly complicated aerodynamic mechanism is needed for the little insect to generate force to stay in the air, and of course she cannot know that in a few second the little butterfly will land on her naked arm licking life existential sodium of her moist skin.

She just watches.

The contact feels like a tingling wave flowing through her body like a ripple in a pond and she smiles and closes her eyes. For a minute or two they just feel each other and then a soft sound is heard; "I'm not just me" she whispers "I am you too".

The little girl doesn't know anything about gravity, the speed of light or any other laws of science and expression ghosts of the intelligent Homo sapiens, but she knows something that many of us have forgotten.

She knows about life and she knows about living. She knows about the Now -though of course she isn't aware of it. She'll know later alright but right now she's not in a hurry. Right now she's just enjoying where and what she is. She is connected to the source, she is with us all.

Then, now, always she's with us and though you might not know her, she knows you.