Jumping, Kissing, Sharing, Living

I'm all excited..... I actually think I have been quite calm for the last week here but it suddenly changed yesterday. "I'll be on my way again, what will happen this time?!!"

A stranger told me last night that he is in his fourth reincarnation in this life time and I thought; "cooooool!" That's brilliant! Another friend told me a couple of weeks ago (after I haven't heard from him during several months) that he has changed life completely as well. That's awesome!

I guess for me this is my second time. I've always known -ever since I was a child that I wasn't going to stay in my mother country. I can't really explain why but a feeling told me that this wasn't the right place for me. So as soon as I could I left. My father was going on a trip to Spain the next day and I asked him to set me off somewhere in France (I wanted to learn French) and just before 6am a Saturday morning I stood alone next to a French highway... That was it. I didn't speak French -except "je t'aime", "merci" and "voulez vous couchez avec moi" -which is REALLY not something a young girl would say to a Latin stranger. I was with my suitcase and a cotton hat where I've attached a HUGE sunflower (I love sunflowers). Of course I was scared (as I am now) but I felt HAPPY and oh so free. Freer than I have ever felt before. It was Amazing.

I travelled from city to city looking for I don't know what, experiencing, learning, touching and observing. Living. A brilliant lesson was one of the first nights on a Youth Hostel somewhere in Lyon. I was sitting at a round table writing and looking at people... and feeling totally lonely and miserable. I wanted to share and be with my neighbours (I even saw another young person looking just as sad and lonely) but I was afraid, timid and insecure. So ALONE I sat for hours and alone I felt in my heart and body. Later in my bed I made a decision; "never again". Never again I would do that. Never again I would be too afraid of speaking with strangers, connecting, sharing and learning. We all need to learn somehow.

In a couple of hours I'll be gone again. I have been giving away almost all my belongings, books, clothes, things... and what is left now fits into five small brown boxes. That's it. Nothing more and it makes me smile.... We don't really need all those things. I don't and when the day comes where I need kitchen tools, chairs and blankets I'll buy them.

So this time it's happening again, I'm leaving. Almost 13 years after the first time. So many things have happened in those years. Good things, wonderful things. I have felt, learnt, tried, experienced, cried, danced, laughed and lived. Those years are a part of me just like the now and the future. What will happen now?!!

I'm not wearing any sunflower hat this time (though I have a sun jewel attached to my jacket). Maybe I'm a bit more wise now, I've tried more things, met more people and breathed and shared more air but I'm still the same. I'm still feeling my way through everything. I'm still just as playful, naïve, irrational (as somebody told me yesterday!), spontaneous, childish, crazy and oh so unstoppable curious and hungry about everything and everybody.    

I went to a HUGE sand dune yesterday morning at 7am. It was early Sunday morning, it was raining and nobody was there. Only me and my dog. She was happy running and I was happy looking at the incredible ocean, sand dunes and forest. The wind was on my face, I could hear the waves and birds were playing in the sky. I really love that place!

Then my dog ran towards an area with some bushes and small trees and something beautiful made me look at her. Sometimes I can see energy patterns, light and colours around people and things and this time I saw a "bubble" appear around my dog. It made me smile. Then she moved and the "bubble" stayed but then a new bubble immediately turned up where the dog now was busy sniffing. She moved again and again and soon the entire area was FULL of my dog. Amazing. Incredible. She was everywhere! And so are we......... Everywhere we leave, give and share something of us. To everything and everybody. It's marvellous. What are we?

Energy. We are pure energy and light and I'm so happy to be here among you. I'm so happy to be able do experience all those things. We are all together and I love you all so incredible much. Thank you!

I'll be back...